How Aunty Would do Simon Cowell’s Stag Weekend

Simon Cowell is reportedly being taken to London by comedy duo Ant and Dec for his stag do. Yippee.

I still don’t know which is which, but can neither of them come up with something a little more original? The guy is in lap dancing clubs every night of the week so ho hum, what’s different here?

What would I do if I was asked to organise a stag weekend for Simon Cowell? OK here goes. Let’s take him away from the boring Bahamas and bring him to down to earth and into rugged eat-your-weight-in-fish-stew Spain. That’s where I live and that’s where my stags love to enjoy their weekends.

I’d put together a Spain stag weekend package that goes something like this for the high waisted trouser wearer:

Stag Quad Biking

Let’s see how he gets on overlooking the mountain ledges; he might be used to custom designed tracks, but will the ledges of the Caldiretes Mountains leave him wishing he’d stuck to a PJ and Duncan style weekend drive?

Stag Scuba Diving

I honestly wonder what Simon Cowell would look like in swimming trunks. Actually that’s a lie; I’d rather not go there. But what would he make of a scuba diving expedition off my boat, into the crystal clear waters of the Med and having a peak around what lies beneath? I bet it’d be more interesting than a night on the panel with Piers.

Stag Deep Sea Fishing

Now this will sort the men from the boys. Will he cut it? Tuna, Marlin, Swordfish: what do you reckon he’ll catch when prompted to step up to the plate? Simon may well be used to the best fillets on his plate, but this time it’s up to him to bring in the catch of the day.

These are just a few of the stag weekend activities that Simon Cowell could be enjoying if only his northeast counterparts could come up with something innovative. And there’s more…visit Aunty Andrea's Stag Weekends in Spain to get the low down on what’s on offer to give your own stag weekend the X-factor.